


A Storm Inside and Out

by KayDiggsWriting



Series: What Happens In France... [10]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hamgelica, Hopeful Ending, Love Triangles, Past Relationship(s), Phone Calls, Storms, Tags Are Hard, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 18:17:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15418794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayDiggsWriting/pseuds/KayDiggsWriting
Summary: Alexander Hamilton hated storms since childhood.He was never able to get through them alone.At least not without having a complete breakdown.Some things never change... And some things do.ORElizabeth and Angelica both know about Hamilton's history with storms. And they both want to help in any way they can.(I promise it's better than it sounds.)





	A Storm Inside and Out

**Author's Note:**

> I know I literally just updated but this idea wouldn't leave my head until I wrote it down. And once i did write it down i thought 'Hey, why not publish it?'. I think I just needed to write a sweeter chapter after the last one. So this is my best attempt at a cute Hamgelica chapter. 
> 
> Don't get used to it! A night of weakness isn't going to completely change Angelica's mind.
> 
> Also for anyone curious about the timeline of Hamilton's past:  
> It's not set in stone. But I know I wanted his mother to be alive when the hurricane hit. I also wanted him to be younger than 17 when it did. It just makes the whole thing a more vulnerable experience in my opinion. I hope that's not confusing.
> 
> As always I apologize for spelling and grammar errors. Proofreading isn't my forte.

There was no comfortable way to fall asleep on a couch. At least not one as small as Angelica’s. The length of the sofa was fine. Alexander wasn’t a particularly tall man. And it wasn’t a particularly short couch. No, it was the width of the furniture that was the problem. If he laid flat on his back or stomach, he would end up hanging off the edge. His only option was to prop up on his side. That position was less than gentle on his shoulder and neck. 

So he grabbed the blanket Angelica supplied and let himself roll onto the floor. It wasn’t as soft as the sofa but there was certainly more room for him to stretch out. To be honest, he could remember sleeping in worse places. So he wasn’t complaining. Quite the opposite in fact. He was grateful his ex girlfriend allowed him to stay over at all. They weren’t on the best terms lately. Not since she admitted to no longer having feeling for him. Their conversations were cordial at their best. Screaming matches at their worst. Anything in between was too rare to include. 

She took mercy on him after the first bolt of lighting lit the sky. Her concern wasn’t spoken but it was implied when she pulled a blanket from the linen closet instead of walking him to the door. Alexander's thanks was implied in the way he held onto the cotton fabric as if it were his lifeline. 

There was no use in pretending he was going to get any sleep that night. At least not without one of his prescribed pills. Still he closed his eyes and willed his mind to into a state of fuzz. Almost like the static on an old fashion television with a broken antenna. It was the least he could do for his fatigued body. 

The rain was an almost soothing background noise by now. Like the sound of an ever falling waterfall instead of the nasty storm that it was. He hated storms. He wasn’t afraid of them per se, he just wasn’t ignorant to what a bit of rain and thunder could become. Always better to be cautious than to fake indifference.

He snugged deeper under the cover and was suddenly overwhelmed by a familiar scent. It smelled so much like Angelica. She must wash them with the same detergents she used for her own clothes. It was something tropical. Fruity almost. He brought it directly under his nose to inhale deeper this time. Still the specific scent evaded him. So he leaned back on his borrowed pillow and relished in the unknown. 

His mind was wonderfully blank when the buzzing began. It took him a full ten seconds to realize the buzzing wasn’t in his head. Another three seconds for him to realize it was something vibrating. Then only a second to pick up on the fact that it was his cellphone. His hand ducked under the blanket to dig into his pocket and silence the device. The brightness of screen showed no mercy for his tired eyes. His thumb hovered over the volume buttons on the side. Quiet without letting the person know you were ignoring them. But then his brain registered the name.

Eliza.

He slid the screen. Watching the timer start on the answered call. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.

”Hello?” 

Alex pressed the phone to his ear. “Hi.”

”I-It’s Eliza.” She whispered. 

”I know.” Alexander mimicked her volume. “Did something happen?”

”No.” A pause too short to be awkward. Too long to be anything else. “I wanted to call and make sure you were okay?”

”Oh?”

”Because of the storm. I-I know you aren’t fond of storms.”

Alexander’s eyelids slid shut. A heavy feeling settled over his chest. Making it difficult to breathe in. 

“Oh.”

”So are you? Okay I mean.”

”I’m fine, Betsy.” The nickname slipped past without permission. “Thank you for caring.”

”Of course I care.” She was a little louder now. More confident. “Even if we’re not together, I’m going to care.”

The feeling in his chest increased. It was like someone was sitting on top of him. Crushing his ribs. Threatening to make it through until one of the bones pierced his heart. 

_You cast your Alexander Hamilton love spell on her and now she's a goner for the rest of her life._

"I'm so sorry, Eliza."

He could hear her breathing speed up. Or maybe it was his own. "What are you apologizing for?"

She wanted him to say it out loud. To admit what he did was wrong and mean it. He could do that. For Elizabeth he could do that.

"I'm sorry for sneaking behind your back and lying to you. I'm sorry for not telling you as soon as I knew."

When she speaks again, she sounds as wrecked as he feels. "You know, I might have understood. I would have been a little upset at the way the universe set it up but I might have been able to handle it.  _We_ might have been able to handle it."

"I didn't want to risk losing you because of something that happened three years-"

"Look where we are now, Alex." She cut him off. The previous concerned burned from her voice. "You broke my heart. The same way you did my sister."

" _You_ left _me_." He couldn't raise his voice at this hour. Especially since he wasn't in his own house and his son was sleeping just down the hall. So he settled for a frustrated growl. "So did your sister. It's not fair for the both of you to keep playing the victim and painting me out to be the bad guy. You both broke up with me. So why do you get to sing the songs of the broken hearted?" 

"Because you-"

"Were abandoned by three women I loved."

"Alex." His name left her mouth with a soft puff of air. "I-I didn't abandon you."

"Didn't you?"

"No. I-well I didn't mean to. I was just hurt and confused and I didn't want to fight with you. It's impossible to win a fight with you."

"What does that mean?" There went his heart rate again. "What are you saying?"

"I miss you, Alex. So much. I can't stop thinking about how we ended so suddenly. We didn't even talk."

"You didn't let me talk." He reminded her.

"I know. And that's what  _I'm_ sorry for-"

"Alexander?" Angelica's groggy voice echoed through the small hallway in the dark. There was the sound of her feet shuffling on the floor before the click of the light switch. Illuminating only the edges of where he was lying on the floor. "Are you awake?"

"I have to go." His voice was barely audible to his own ears. He hoped he was close enough to the cell's microphone for Eliza to hear him on the other line. He didn't wait for confirmation before he ended the call. Tucking the phone under his pillow. 

Angelica rounded the corner of the couch. Freezing when she took in the empty cushions. The shadows of her face could be fooling him...but she looked disappointed. She turned back towards her room. Alexander shifted on the floor. The sound of the blanket shuffling caught her attention. Her head darted down in the direction where he laid. Watching her. Well, watching her silhouette. 

"Alexander?" Her foot hit the side of his head. He groaned. "What are you doing on the floor?"

He rubbed the spot she kicked. "The couch was too small."

"Why didn't you say anything?" She squatted down to his level. Alexander noticed the blanket didn't smell like her as much as he originally thought. Sure the under current aroma was there. But in his sleepy haze he'd forgotten to take into account the smell of her body wash. Her deodorant. Her shampoo. Her perfume. And another scent that was just naturally  _her._ The blanket didn't do her justice. He damn near felt bad for implying it did.

"I didn't want to bother you."

"Your comfort is no bother." She ended the sentence with a yawn. Her small hand reached up to cover her mouth a second too late. "Speaking of which, are you okay?"

_Is everything alright?_

"Why do you ask?"

"I wanted you stay over because I saw the rain was beginning to pick up. I didn't like the thought of you traveling in that. I didn't know it was going to become a storm."

"Neither did I."

"It wasn't in the forecast." She reached out blindly for him. Her hand settled near the base of his hair. "And I wanted to make sure it wasn't keeping you up. I know how much you hate nasty weather."

His pride took a blow at the words. 

He sniffed. "It's not like I'm afraid of storms. I'm a grown ass man."

 

_Alexander balled up on his side under the pathetic excuse for a blanket. The rain was cause for concern against the cheap roof of their house. There were already two ugly wet patches on the ceiling in his room. The pans resting under them collecting whatever liquid managed to seep through. The consistent 'clink' 'clink' of the droplets hitting the metal cookware was a thorn in his side._

_But it was nothing compared to the winds. Alex had no idea that air could become the most violent of the elements. If it was able to shake the foundation of his house without true effort he didn't want to know what it would do to him alone. The crack in his window frame allowed the air from the outside to cool his room. He buried himself deeper into his covers and wished his body would provide the heat it needed. The islands shouldn't be this cold._

_Storms were nothing new on Nevis. But this one was different. This one felt angrier. Like it had a personal vendetta against the people on his little island. People who'd done nothing to wrong nature and deserve such a punishment. Another round of thunder screamed it's hateful words into the ill colored sky._

_"Alexander, are you alright?" His mother's soft voice rushed through his veins like a drug. Warming him. The light above him flickered on._

_"I'm fine, mom." He managed through the fear clogging his throat. Frustrated tears brewed at the corners of his eyes. He wasn't supposed to be crying. He wasn't supposed to be afraid. He was the man of the house. How was he going to keep his mother safe if he was blubbering like a fucking baby in bed?_

_Her nails scraped softly through his sweat drenched hair. "Are you crying? Are you worried about he hurricane?"_

_"No. I-I'm not afraid of anything."_

 

"I know that." Angelica pulled her hand from his hair. Worry made her voice waver. Alexander felt guilty for causing such concerns. The last thing he wanted to be was a burden to a woman who didn't want him. Having spent so much time together, she'd witnessed him break down at just the mention of bad weather. But that was when she cared about him. When he had no reason to hide from her. Her worry was borderline condescending now that he knew how she really felt. 

"Good."

"But in case you forgot, I don't like thunder storms either."

Great. He _had_ forgotten. Now he felt like an asshole. "I remember." Now. 

She was silent for a moment. Alexander closed his eyes and let himself bask in her closeness while it lasted.

"Do you want me to lay with you?"

 

_"Of course you're not." His mother's fingers slid from his hair. "But maybe I am."_

_He twisted in his bed to face her. "What?"_

_"This weather scares me. Has since I was a young girl. Hurricanes can be dangerous, Alexandre."_

_"I-I know."_

_"Okay." She exhaled heavily. "So do you mind if I sleep beside you tonight? Just until the storm passes?"_

_He moved over to make room. Lifting the blanket so she could slide in under it._

 

"What?" Alexander sat up suddenly. Pinching at his leg under the blanket where she couldn't see it. Just to make sure he hadn't dozed off and was dreaming up this entire scenario. 

"Do you want me to lay with you?" She repeated as if it weren't a big deal. As if she hadn't spent the last couple of days trying to avoid him. "Neither of us are going to get any sleep tonight with that storm going on. Don't think I forgot how restless you can get." She scolded halfheartedly. His cheeks warmed. "Your son has already made his nightly journey to my bed. For such a small boy, he takes up a lot of room. He sleeps like a starfish." He could hear the smile in her voice. "And you've already bragged about the plethora of space you have here on the floor." Her voice trailed off dramatically. 

Alexander found himself chuckling at the absurd logic. He wasn't going to deny himself the opportunity to sleep beside Angelica one last time. He was pretty sure she knew that too. Because she was lowering herself at his side before he had the chance to pull the blanket out for her. He lowered onto his back again. She tugged on the single pillow so he lifted his head. Allowing her to pull it out enough for them to share. 

 

_The tension left Alexander's body when his mother's arms reached out to cradle him closer. If she noticed the wetness running down his cheeks, she didn't say anything. He was beyond grateful for that._

 

Angelica wiggled until she was pressed to Alexander's side. It was then he realized he was shaking. His ex girlfriend didn't comment on his less than stoic state. Thank goodness for small mercies. He didn't think he could handle her pity in that moment.

 

_His mother hadn't turned off the light. It was as if she knew the darkness made the storm more violent in his mind._

 

The light in the hallway remained shining. Angelica most likely did it for their son's sake. She wouldn't want him waking for the second time that night to find her missing from his side. The light would help Philip find his way to them. Little did she know it was also soothing to Alexander's piece of mind. Things always felt more dangerous in the mystery of darkness.

 

_By some miracle Alex began to feel drowsy. Before he could fully succumb to his dreamland, a pair of warm lips pressed against the sweaty skin of his temple. His mom's breath tickled when she spoke through the kiss. "Alexander."_

_"Hmm?" Was all his exhausted mind could manage._

_"Being afraid of something does not make you weak." Her thin arms tightened around him. "Do you understand?"_

_"Yes, mama."_

 

"Alexander." Angelica's hand came to rest on his arm.

"Yeah?" 

"You went through a traumatic experience. Your fear is rational. It doesn't make you less of a man."

His body went rigid. He suppressed the ridiculous urge to defend his masculinity. To tell her that she was wrong about his fear. The point would not only be moot, but an outright lie. Instead he let her words marinate. Repeated them over and over again in his head. It wasn't the first time someone said something along those lines to him. It wasn't even the first time _she'd_ said it. So why did they nearly move him to tears in that moment? Why were they suddenly so... real?

The pressure that settled over his chest during Eliza's phone call lessened to nothing.

Without considering the consequences of his actions (when did he ever?) Alexander turned to face Angelica.. She gasped when their fronts pressed together. To his surprise she didn't push against him. Didn't complain about his invasion of her personal space. She adjusted their position so that she molded against him more naturally. With more hesitance this time, his arm draped around her. He didn't image the relieved sigh that escaped her.

She needed this just as much as he did. That much was clear. Which begged the question,  _why_ _?_

There was no way to measure how much time went by before he built up the courage to say what he couldn't stop thinking.

"You're a liar."

Apparently enough time for Angelica to nod off a little. She groaned in response. Ducking her head as a kind way to say 'shut up'. Too bad for her. Alexander was fully awake and he was going to get this off his chest while Angelica was docile enough not to snap at him. His finger poked at her side. Slowly, she lifted her head to meet his gaze. Sleepiness and annoyance danced in her eyes. 

"What?"

"You're a liar."

"What are you-"

"If you're truly over me, if you don't care anymore, then what are we doing here?"

Angelica blinked. Once. Twice. Her nose scrunched up in a way that could only be described as adorable. Her mouth opened and shut and opened again. "Shut up, Alexander." It was a weak defense and they both knew it. Still he allowed her to hide her face in his shirt. She grumbling something unintelligible before her soft breathing filled his ears again.

A small smile played around the corner of his mouth at the small victory.

 

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING.  
> I hope you enjoyed the super quick update.  
> YOUR COMMENTS AND KUDOS FUEL ME!  
> WHAT DID YOU THINK?  
> WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT?


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